Learn the layout of the ship and memorise the route to your cabin. Ships are like mazes, and are particularly tricky to navigate after a few cocktails.
The duty-free shop is the best place to pick up cheap alcohol or cigarettes.
Befriend the maids and you’ll never have to do your own laundry.
Befriend the kitchen staff for a supply of fresh produce.
Befriend the nurse for a supply of pure oxygen – the world’s best cure for a hang-over.
An evening with the crew, below deck, is always an eye-opener.
Buy or bring your own iron.
Pack contraception – its not always available when you need it.
Come on board with at least one party piece.
Remember, everyone knows what everyone does….
Bring or buy a hand-held games console.
For souvenirs, buy at least one postcard from every port you visit.